one time when I was 6 (in 1999) I had this exact camera and for some reason I took pictures of my butt and I told my mom I did it and she told me I could go to jail if I really did that so I freaked out and hid the camera and I never got the pictures developed so somewhere in my house is this camera with pictures of my 6 year old ass on it just waiting to be discovered
i fucking hate dating nerds one single time i wore a star wars shirt to see a dude and he was like, “wow are u wearing that to impress me” and i said, “star wars episode 4 was seen by approximately 110 million people during its initial theatrical run in 1977”
Congratulations. You’re dating people who for the longest time have been putting up with bullying, mocking, and scorn for most of their lives. That kind of shit stays with people. So imagine their surprise when they see a member of the opposite sex, who I’m assuming is really attractive in comparison to most people, wear attire that reps nerd culture. Which even though is accepted by the masses (if you’re reasonably attractive) is still rare. Now I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to be scornful I’m just saying expect it and don’t be surprised when you hear it. Ok? OK.
why i dont date fucking nerds: exhibit B
Bolded emphasis mine. Gross.
Stands on nearest chair: ATTENTION MALE NERDS. YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A SHORTAGE OF FEMALE NERDS. THERE ARE VAST NUMBERS OF US, AND WE RARELY HAVE A HARD TIME FINDING EACH OTHER. YOU ARE WITHOUT FEMALE COMPANY BECAUSE YOU ARE WHINEY ASSBABIES WHO THINK YOU OWN THINGS BECAUSE YOU LIKE THEM, AND BECAUSE YOU SOMEHOW THINK YOU SUFFER BULLYING WHEREAS GIRL NERDS SOMEHOW NEVER DO. STOP PRETENDING YOU GET TO BE ASSHOLES BECAUSE YOU HAVE A “TRAGIC PAST” OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE. IF YOU THINK GIRL NERDS DON’T GET BULLIED IT’S LIKELY BECAUSE THOSE GIRLS DON’T WANT TO TALK TO YOU, BECAUSE OF THIS SORT OF ATTITUDE.
also: fucking no one mocks nerds anymore. Game of thrones is the most watched show on tv, everyone and their mom is playing video games, dungeons and dragons is more popular than it’s ever been.
To conclude
i’m obligated to reblog the Critical Whale
Fucking thank you
This line from “The Social Network” was seen by approximately 28.5 million people during the film’s theatrical run in 2010. But I’m guessing not by you.
“Wait a minute can they even do this they’re freaking cars”
You start to write something about ears or hands and then you remember like “…oh wait-”
getting anxious about putting human food in a scene so you just say oil to make it less conflicting
C A R H U G S …
“THEY’VE GESTURED WITH THEIR TIRES LIKE TEN TIMES ALREADY DO SOMETHING ELSE YOU STUPID VEHICLES LIKE I LOVE YOU BUT PLEASE MAKE IT EASIER FOR ME”
unsure about how to make a scene more dynamic cause the characters can really only just sit there talking to each other
“IS. LIGHTNING. MCQUEEN. OOC. I SWEAR HE’S OOC IN THIS SCENE”
Or, alternatively: “IS ANYONE IN-CHARACTER IN THIS SCENE OH GOD I DON’T KNOW THIS SERIES AT ALL DO I I’M HORRIBLE”
“wait do they even have windshield wipers”
“how far can they stretch their axles out like arms omg this must read so awkward”
when you have to write Mater’s dialogue and you start to say it out loud in the Larry the Cable Guy voice cause good God how do you write that voice properly (i.e. occasional horrid grammar and/or catchphrases)
*incoherent screaming about car anatomy*
“Okay would McQueen really cry here no he’d hold it in- but wait a second wouldn’t it be more powerful if he broke down here- alright listen up here-”
“OKAY IS IT THE ENGINE OR THE BATTERY THAT’S THE HEART I’M SO CONFUSED AND I’M THE ONE WRITING IT”
I love crossing the street while cars are turning cuz it’s like wow either you hit me and I die, you hit me and I sue you, or you don’t hit me and I get to cross the street either way I win.
